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Over the last couple of years as I’ve dove into my deep deep work, one of the biggest and primary tasks has been to work on awareness of my emotions.
I’ve always been afraid of my emotions. Many of them overwhelm me.
But through this work, one of my first big takeaways has been the clarity of how much FEAR has been THE driving motivator for most of my life.
Through my work, I’ve also learned that emotions, particularly like fear, have other purposes though ….. like being an indicator light on your internal dashboard.
And honestly, I’ve been wrestling with this for a long time. Most of my emotions overwhelm me so much, I just want them to go away. So it’s been tough to find separation between me/self and my emotions.
But today, I made another realization …. I could finally start to see the difference and separation with this powerful emotion. And this it as simple as it sounds.
- There is Fear, the emotion in my instance.
- And then there is my REACTION to that fear.
I’ve probably heard that 100 times but it finally sunk in today. And I’ve been assuming a lot, meshing the two together, avoiding it because I just saw them as one.
Fear exists for a good evolutionary reason. It’s an emotion. It’s there for a healthy purpose. In the past, to keep you alive. In today’s modern world, to alert and ready you.
But my REACTION to that indicator light has mostly NOT been healthy.
So the takeaway is seeing the difference. Acknowledging and agreeing, I need emotions. But realizing the reactions I’m making to them have some unhealthy outcomes.
Can’t tell you how good it feels to feel and see that separation. And feel optimism that I can rewrite and work on my reactions for better outcomes.
And, then like my shaman has asked me dozens of times once I’ve identified something like this …
Now, what do you want in its place?
That’s the work. And maybe for another post.
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