What Would Make Today a Win?

Been reading The Gap and The Gain by Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan. I’ve known of this concept of which the book is named of Dan’s for a while now.

But I stumbled into the chapter talking about success criteria and tried working on that over the weekend.

A question to help me unearth the answer on a regular basis (to help me know what I should be focused on) was:

What would make today a win?

I thought of three instantly (long-term, kind of the ALWAYS WINS):

  1. Genuine human connection — This goes back to my life mantra: Make People’s Lives Awesome. And it starts first with my family (Lindsey, kiddos), then team/partners, then cool peeps.
  2. Starting, refining and publishing thoughts, ideas — today will be my first day in my next Click Publish series.
  3. Taking care of myself — Water, nutrition, exercise, mindfulness, counselor, coach, comrades, doctor.

That’s a good start for me.

But then I asked myself …

What would make today a win currently?

And I framed it in my business and family projects and the big stuff I’m trying to get accomplished.

  • Progress toward establishing and aligning our team at Post Status
  • Taking over more house and kid things from Lindsey
  • Continuing to do my work with my counselor
  • Getting product launched and profitable at my mental health startup

OK, that’s mine for now.

What about you?

Does this frame and perspective help you think about and actually make great progress toward your hopes, goals and dreams?

The Power of Yet

So many times we get into these self-limiting, self-defeating conversations with ourselves.

I didn’t get the project done.

I’m not a leader.

I haven’t built a million dollar company.

I haven’t mastered giving and getting feedback.

I’m not where I want to be.

But then there is one of the most powerful words in the Universe to tack on.

YET.

This isn’t my idea … I’ve read it in books, and think my coach even said it to me this week, but I was reminded of this powerful word.

It embodies the Growth Mindset.

We’re not fixed.

We’re not static.

We can and should be GROWING.

When you hear yourself saying you’re fixed, remember to add: YET.

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This post is part of my 30 Days of Clicking Publish

The Best Advice I’d Give Myself

If I had a time machine and could go back to talk to Cory in 2007-2008 and give him one and only one piece of advice, I would NOT talk about how to double revenue or how he should get to automatic subscription revenue as fast as possible, or nuances of team dynamics or how to hire and fire.

Those would be cool and great.

But here is the ONE absolutely pivotal advice I’d share and beg and plead with him to heed it:

Take good care of yourself … FIRST.

A couple of things to note about this advice:

First, notice I said GOOD care. Not the care you think you can take of yourself, Cory. You’re in your 30s. You might feel healthy now, but it’s misleading.

I’m talking taking REALLY GOOD. Like really really really good care of yourself. And frankly, you’re already getting chair-bound and starting to feel it.

And it’s not just your brain … but your body that affects your brain and everything else.

So, Cory ….

  • Get a counselor you like, trust, experience and can have on speed dial. You’ll need that person(s).
  • Start an exercise ritual-obsession-addiction. You hate running, you’ll joke about it …. but try the Rualk. It’s run-walk. Whatever you do, obsess over it.

Second, I said FIRST. Put your care FIRST. Not second and certainly not last as you did for the longest time. In fact you forget yourself.

As you start to board planes and do business travel (averaging like 1-2 trips a month over the next decade), you’ll hear over and over and over by the flight attendants:

Put on you mask FIRST before you assist others.

This applies to you on the plane AND in every other relationship you have.

If you don’t put your mask on, or take care of YOURSELF FIRST, I promise you ALL of the relationships in your life will suffer for it.

You’ll suffer. They will suffer. Compounding suffering IF you don’t put YOUR mask on FIRST.

Cory, you will have two children. They are so incredibly special and exponentially better than anything you have or could ever imagine.

If you don’t take care of yourself FIRST, you will not be your best for them.

Oh, in a couple of years you’ll meet this amazing woman. I won’t spoil the amazing gift she is to you and tell you all the details.

Suffice to say …. SHE is your person.

Start taking care of yourself NOW because you’ll spend the rest of your life trying to catch up to her.

And I promise you, you WANT to keep up with her. Because life is THE adventure with her.

So tape these words to your mirror, embed them in your mind and work to make them real in your life every day because you have a SHIT TON riding on all of this:

TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF, FIRST, CORY!

It’s the best thing I could give you for the journey ahead … and the journey I’m on today.

Give Some Advice — To Yourself

Been reading How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Katy Milkman and it’s really superb.

One nugget of gold stood out to me this weekend.

Basically she writes that giving advice to others, particularly unsolicited advice, can be defeating and deflating.

Too often, we assume that the obstacle to change in others is ignorance, and so we offer advice to mend that gap. But what if the problem isn’t ignorance but confidence—and our unsolicited wisdom isn’t making things better but worse?

Katy Milkman

I’d never thought about how that internally if I’m offering unsolicited advice, I might be assuming they don’t know — ignorance. But most of us DO know what we should be doing in most situations and likely want confidence, reassurance, affirmation.

In my conversations with entrepreneurs seeking support, I try to always do the latter — show them what is already within them … and most times I feel those calls are more about, just the above, affirmation.

If I went straight into advice when they present a solution, I can totally see how I could erode confidence in them. But that’s ultimately not what they want or I want.

And when I’m asked for specific advice, I try to default to experience share over advice. Sharing specific situations that I encountered the same challenge, issue, or obstacle they did and how I thought and acted. Just the truth of it, not my pointed advice.

Anyway, back to what I intended to write about here ….

One huge takeaway I got from this chapter and notion of advice was a hack for myself.

The author wrote that often times giving advice to others helped reassure ourselves, giving us a boost and clarifying the steps we should take.

… being asked to write just a few words of guidance to someone else might give people the confidence to achieve their own objectives.

.. prompting goal seekers to offer advice led them to feel more motivated than when they were given the very same caliber of advice.

So now when I’m stuck on something, or wrestling with an issue, I’m going to try to take a step back, and ask:

“If someone asked me to share advice for them about this issue, what would I tell them?”

Here’s a couple of challenges I’ve been working through:

  • How do I go about raising money for my startup?
  • How to launch and make a splash?
  • How do I 10X building an audience?

Just writing those challenges in the form of questions here gives me some clarity and my instant answers give me a BIG boost to my confidence for how to get started tackling them.

It’s a lesson to remember for ourselves and for others ….

When you are asked advice, it’s not always about the answer,
but helping build their confidence to tackle the challenge themselves.

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This post is part of my 30 Days of Clicking Publish

Give Your Team The Tools They Need

One of the EASIEST yet impactful takeaways from 12: Elements of Great Managing I got over the years but one I see bosses and companies being goofy about is the Second Element:

Give your people the materials and equipment they need to do their job well.

There are some things that are no-brainers, especially for web workers: laptops, screens, keyboards, mouse.

But you’d be surprised how often people work on crappy equipment and make their jobs less efficient (for you, dear leader) and them more frustrated.

For some of the requests I got that were more “out there” or questionable, all I asked was for them to give me a good justification of why they want it, how they’ll use it to be more productive, happy, etc.

It wasn’t a huge stupid process with 15 forms where they had to wait 2 months. That kind of wall to climb simply to get things that will help you do better for your job is RIDICULOUS and motivation stifling.

Mine was easy … just give me a good enough reason that this ask makes you better for your work here.

Most of these requests were so easy I instantly gave my credit card or ordered it on the spot for them.

You need a license of Camtasia to record video tutorials for our YouTube channel?

DONE!

Btw, here’s the license for it. Surprise! Can’t wait to see the first videos!

Other times I would observe someone using a slow or outdated tool or workflow, limping along and offer:

Hey, I can’t believe you’re still using that …. I’m getting you a new one right now.

Because here’s the message I want to send by doing so:

Dear valued team member, I want you to have great tools, resources to contribute your very best here.

And I’m committed as your leader to blow up roadblocks and obstacles for you.

Let me show you right now.

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This post is part of my 30 Days of Clicking Publish